Did you ever join a martial art class in order to improve your self defence skills or simply to feel safer in life? The usual aproach is to exercise punches and kicks. Just look at the above picture!
But hey, listen to Ando, he has some very good points here: Self defence is less about hurting other people and a whole lot more about staying safe!
Self defence is not about kicking. It is all about not being hit!
Not being hit, is all about not being exposed.
Not being exposed is all about feeling comfortable.
Comfort is all about feeling safe.
Feeling safe is all about listening to your intuition and acting on it.
Not tomorrow or some time soon. Now!
So, why don´t we just do it?
Because we are nice people. We don´t want to hurt anybody´s feelings. we would rather take a punch than imposes pain on you; from your spouse, chef, parent, police or even the realy bad guys, who are conciously counting on you to obey them, for their benefit.
Ando´s clear message is: When ever you feel the slightest compromised, step out if you can! If that is not possible, you have to defend your space. Because if you let somebody intrude your safety zone, you are exposing yourself to, whatever the intruder might want to do.
We are so acustomed to behave, that most of us will feel bad about saying NO to our own reflection in the mirror, like Ando recommends in this short video. To get going on this very important path, you might need some help.
What sensei Ando expresses holds true for many of us; we direly need to define and defend our limits. Sad to say, healing out by speaking to your mirror could take you a lifetime. Luckily though there are better ways!
Simply put, if you sometime back then let that happen, if you let somebody compromize your safety zone, this leaves you with a scar. In order to heal out, you have to enter the pain once again and stay there, holding your ground, until it melts away, thus reversing the process.
Take a deep dive into a therapeutic aproach to creating and maintaining your boundaries in this video with Emily Von Horn: